As I've discussed, I have Crohn's Disease. With all of the effort I have put into minimizing the impact of this fact on my life and the lives of those around me, it, rather unexpectedly, became the cornerstone of my first date with Jeremy. Jeremy will fill you in on his version of the details of our meeting on Thursday, but I wanted to share how I found COMFY with Jeremy. I'm sure the reality falls somewhere in between!
Like most love stories, ours starts with: we met at a bar. I think in the 13 years since then we have been to a bar maybe 3 other times (all related to Steelers games) so I guess we had really good timing that night! My first impression--Jeremy was there with another woman, still wearing his tie from work, and hit me up with the super-special line "you look like someone I know." Reality was, Jeremy was there with a colleague from work, really hates wearing ties, and, to this day, maintains that I did, in fact, look familiar. But, honestly, I really would not have had anything to say, so who am I to judge!
Jeremy headed out from the bar earlier than me that night and very nicely got my contact information, promising he'd get in touch. I was hopeful, but realistic. So, imagine my surprise when he emailed me the next day. After some initial misunderstanding about each other's availability and intentions, we made it on our first date!
Here is where the Crohn's Disease came into play. Jeremy, wanted to have our first date at an Ethiopian restaurant. Although not nearly as true now, I was not at all adventurous with my food, with good reason. My body had gotten into a good rhythm to support its needs and it was hard to venture much from that. But, not wanting to seem BORING I agreed to meet him there. After doing some research on Ethiopian food, I found some safe options and was just feeling a normal level of nerves about the first date. The other thing that sticks in my mind is that is was VERY cold that day and I remember deciding that wearing a turtleneck sweater and being warm were more important than wearing something more revealing and not being warm. I figured if Jeremy could see the reason in that, then I was on the right track.
Ok, so on my walk to the restaurant which I had diligently researched, I get a call from my would-be suitor that the restaurant has actually BURNED DOWN. (Not a good omen.) But, there was a Ghanaian restaurant next door we could try. Great!?!? This was an era before smart phones so there was no opportunity to do a quick check on Ghanaian food! Dinner was fine, but the rest of the evening was great! We walked, we talked, we went to the playground.
On our second date, we found our true connection. As I was attempting to humorously explain the mental anguish behind the restaurant choice on our first date, it came up that I'd had two surgeries for my Crohn's disease. Turns out, Jeremy had said farewell to a good part of his intestine as a child, too! As our discussion progressed that evening, we also discovered that we both had "interesting" experiences in childhood, especially with our fathers. KISMET!
But how did I finally know that I had found Comfy? About a month into our dating, Jeremy had to go out of town for work for a week and right when he got back into town, I was headed out of town for a long weekend to visit my grandparents. After about 2 weeks of not seeing each other, we had the opportunity to meet for lunch. As mushy-gushy as it sounds, when I saw him and we hugged, I knew I had really, truly missed him during that time. It caught me quite off guard that I, a person who had been happy on her own for years, was more comfortable making a grilled cheese and watching a movie on a Friday night than going out with friends, and had never really seen the benefit of being in a serious relationship, missed having this person and looked forward to having him around more. What it came down to was two things: (1) I was ready to step into the UN-COMFY and (2) Jeremy made the UN-COMFY more COMFY.
That is our story, at least my experience of it! It is really the basis of our marriage, how we are parents, and how we continue to discover our COMFY. We have only recently began to formalize these priorities. Our efforts with Life is Comfy are the next step in our COMFY journey. It works for us. Jeremy and I will always be two people with different perspectives and approaches to life, like all couples. But, we, along with Joshua and a team member to be named later, have found a commonality in how we want our family to move through life. We are happy to be sharing our experience with you and would love to have you share your COMFY (and unCOMFY) experiences with us!