4 Questions to Turn unCOMFY into COMFY

from Jan

I've been feeling a little unsettled, a little unCOMFY lately.  Like everyone does occasionally, I seem to be experiencing a stretch of time that feels particularly hectic.  I can't really put my finger on why.  Which leads me to wonder is the "why" important, is the "how I adjust" important, or both?  Upon some reflection, I'm not sure this is a time when the "why" is all that important.  There have not been any drastic changes in my life, nothing added or subtracted.  If this unCOMFY feeling persists and I feel I've misjudged the importance of the "why," then I can reassess.  Which leads me to need to figure out the "how I adjust" part. Since my general feeling of unCOMFY is incredibly non-specific, I think the first step is to look at my daily routine to see if I can find something there that can be temporarily (or permanently) adjusted. 

At the beginning of November, Jeremy and  I  both wrote posts about routine.  In the post, I came up with a few things I need to be routine every day to help me maintain a sense of normalcy/sanity: a shower (preferably in the morning); sitting down (at a table) to eat breakfast; some time to put dinner together; and dedicated time after Joshua goes to bed to catch up with Jeremy.  

So, to reCOMFY, let's think: Has my routine failed me?  Has the world around me shifted? Can I get my routine back? Let's examine each of these possibilities and hopefully, together, we can figure out what is going on and how I can get back to my new? same? modified? routine. 

Has my routine failed me?  

In terms of still finding value in these things, I certainly do.  A morning shower provides me a few minutes to quietly organize my day. Eating breakfast is self explanatory (especially for those who have been around me when I've skipped a meal). Time to put dinner together allows me the quietness, the stillness, and the aloneness, even for a few minutes, to power me up for the final stretch of my day. I definitely still value the dedicated time with Jeremy.  It keeps me both grounded in the day and looking toward the future. 

Has the world around me shifted? 

I more often than not get to take a morning shower. I do get to eat breakfast each morning; however, it is starting to include cleaning dishes from the previous night, getting Joshua's lunch packed, and "discussing" the trial of getting dress. Breakfast time has definitely become less of a easement into the day and more of a burst into the day. Time to put dinner together?  Huh, that has really changed. Joshua has, in the past couple of months, become the master chef in our house, chopping, measuring, stirring, cooking with such enthusiasm that we may need a bigger kitchen to hold it.  It is great to have him in the kitchen.  He is patient,  careful and thoughtful about what he is doing so it really isn't even too much of a stress.  But it is less quiet, more hectic, and less alone.  I'm in a conundrum about this because some of our best moments of the day are when we are cooking together. Yet I miss the quietness, the stillness, and the aloneness, even for a few minutes, which used to power me up for the final stretch of the day. Dedicated time with Jeremy?  We still prioritize this, but Joshua has been getting out of bed a lot so it has been disjointed and interrupted time not necessarily solely focused on ourselves. 

Can I get back to a COMFY routine? 

It has become pretty clear in writing this that a couple quiet, still, alone periods throughout the day are INCREDIBLY important to me.  I often get the shot of quiet in the morning with my shower.  Although, often I'm reeling from the prior 20 minutes that my shower is more about recovery than preparation. To adjust, I'm trying to do my "day prep" the night before.  The house is blissfully still once everyone is asleep and, even if I am in bed, I have a chance to think through the next day.  Not always an ideal time to do it, but it usually feels like a good way to cap off the day.  I might need to keep working through this one. 

The dinner preparation time has been repurposed.  I enjoy working with Joshua in the kitchen too much; but I still do need a few quiet moments. Maybe, I can dedicate the 15 minutes before I pick Joshua up from school for my own stillness? Whether I am in our apartment, sitting in the school parking lot, or browsing in the library, I own that 15 minutes to recharge for the afternoon.   

My dedicated time with Jeremy, I am positive, will continue to thrive.  Joshua will start staying in bed again.  Jeremy and I will find other moments to catch up.  I don't so much worry about losing that as really miss it when it doesn't happen.   

This leads me to one last, big question: 

Is there something else I need? 

This morning as Joshua was brushing his teeth I put together something interesting.  Last week, Joshua decided he needed the safety rail (we which have not used in 2-ish years) back on his bed, that he needed his step stool back at the bathroom sink (which he has not used in a few months), and he needed some extra stuffed animals in his bed (which he has not done in many months).  Joshua has been going through some incredible growth spurts both inside and outside.  Was he feeling a bit unCOMFY, too?  Was this his strategy for coping with that feeling?  I expect that rediscovering these items reminds Joshua of ways he used to be more COMFY.  Familiar items that make his life a little easier, that help even out the rocky road of growing both outside and inside.    

What are things from my past that have made me COMFY that I can either temporarily or permanently employ? First thing that pops in my mind is getting back to exercise.  I recently had an "I'm an old lady" injury to my elbow and switched out my gym time for physical therapy time.  Fortunately, the PT is over so I need to get back to the gym.  It is an activity that makes me feel strong and focused.  Also, with the busy-ness of holidays, finishing adoption paperwork, and just letting life get unwieldy, I have not made time to catch up with friends. I need to find time to see friends both on my own and tagging along on Joshua's playdates. 

Maybe, all I need is the wisdom of a 4-and-3/4-year-old is what I need to get some COMFY back into my life.   


What makes your routine COMFY? 

How have you had to change routine to keep up with the times? 

Are there COMFY things you bring back into your life during unCOMFY times?